Pickle Soup For Your Face

Kids learn language. It's natural. It flows. "Goo goo" flows easily into "baba" and then "want baba" and "I want white bear" and "why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?" then "ooooooooooohhh, mommy's at work?"

It's freakin' amazing to see.

Made Up Mythology

I teach Intro to Theatre at a community college. A few semesters ago, when we began our unit on Ancient Greek drama, I was doing my five minute lay down of everything I know about Greek mythology.  I had to lay some groundwork for the cult of Dionysus, as that cult produced Thespis, the "first actor."

So I was talking about the birth of Dionysus, from the thigh of Zeus, having been sewn there after being ripped from Semele's belly just as she was being destroyed by the presence of Zues in his true form...when a student raised his hand and asked, "Did they make this up? Or did they really believe it?"

My answer: "Yes." My thought, "Just like the talking snake."

He asked, "They made it up, and then they believed it?"

I said again, "Yes...like all mythologies." (I'm careful to say "mythologies" and not "religions" because...I'm a coward.) After a bit of what seemed like uncomfortable laughter from the class and a short awkward pause, I went on to say that mythologies develop over time, they evolve, they are stories. Mythologies are explanations of the natural world, of the universe, created before we had the proper tools to explain the natural world. We used to think Thor was raining down thunder bolts from the sky. Now we understand thunder and lightning.

It was a fun skeptical moment in a theatre class, which often doesn't get into skeptical territory.

Dear Oprah, We're Here, We're Atheists

This rant is brought to you courtesy of Oprah's total lack of courtesy, and obliviousness to her our lack of courtesy, seen in this clip, wherein she tells an atheist that she's not an atheist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hla3ibhUuCU

Basically Diana Nyad explains that though she's an atheist she still experiences awe in nature and the universe, whereupon Oprah tells her that that (nature etc.) is god and therefor Mz. Nyad is not an atheist.

OK for Oprah, let's unpack that. Note. (Oprah is by no means the first to make this argument. This blog goes out to everybody who's ever said this kind of thing to me.)

First of all throwing the label "god" onto everything makes it a meaningless word. If "god" means whatever gives your life meaning, whatever you find beautiful, or whatever is important in your life, then fine. Everybody is religious. The problem with that is that words have meaning. And there is no definition of the word "god" that allows for such careless sticker slapping. Furthermore, as a religious person herself, Oprah is weakening whatever version of god she believes in by stripping the word of all meaning. 

In short, if nature is god, why not just call it nature? If music is god, why not just call it music? If (insert thing that inspires awe) is god, why not just call it (insert thing that inspires awe)?

Let me give a few examples. I go to a burger joint and get a burger. It's so so. A couple days later I go and get a burger and it's delicious. It's like, "Damn! That was an awesome, tasty moffugin burger!" I do not leap to god as the cause of my "awe" at the taste of this burger. I know that sometimes a burger, even prepared by the same chef, in the same restaurant, will sometimes taste better than others. He was paying attention and didn't overcook it. The spices were just right. The ingredients were fresher. Whatever. There is no need to invoke god.

Likewise, when I listen to music and want to fall down and cry, I don't think of god. I understand that long ago humans discovered that certain sounds make us feel certain things and that over time we have learned how to manipulate those sounds in order to enhance the effects they have on us. Again, no god required.

When, in awe, I see the sun come up and go down, the tide come in and go out, with nary a miss-communication, I understand that there is no communication. Natural forces are at work, totally independent of any thoughtful, guiding hand. No need for a god.

And as for the feelings themselves, the terror primitive man felt at the power of the weather, later replaced by respect and awe, the sweeping ennui or inspiration created by great music, the enjoyment of the taste and texture of food, all of these are explained in a completely naturalistic way. No god required.

Now, Oprah wasn't trying to be rude. She was unintentionally disrespectful, I'm sure. But she was sure as heck showing a total lack of empathy and the ability to see another point of view. She simply can't understand someone not believing in god, to the point that she has to hand hammer the label "god" onto things she herself doesn't call god, in order to make herself feel better.

Oprah, listen. "Atheist" is not a bad word. It simply means someone who doesn't believe in a god. It doesn't mean someone devoid of feelings, devoid of hope, devoid of awe. It just means someone who finds those things somewhere other than god because s/he doesn't believe there is a god.

We're atheists. Deal with it.

Christian Nation?

Prayer For Protection In A Dangerous Game

A student at Saudi-Daisy High School in Tennessee started an uproar when he contacted the Freedom From Religion foundation (www.ffrf.org) to inquire as to whether prayer at football games and commencements was illegal.

It is.

But that's not what I'm on about now. Endorsing prayer in public schools has been ruled unconstitutional by the supreme court. Done. The end.

No. What I want to discuss is the moronic nature of the prayers. The FFRF podcast of Freethought Radio (Nov 1, 2010) features an audio clip of a half-time, mid-field prayer led by a student. What were they praying for? Yes of course, they were thanking god for the day and the chance to glorify him, all the standard formalities that go into talking to god before one gets to the heart of the matter. But what was the heart of the matter? Safety. The safety of the players and coaches during the game. The game of FOOTBALL!

What!?

If I were god, I'd send that prayer back with a note attached. "Sorry, your prayer could not be delivered because you're a bunch of morons!"

Let's play an incredibly dangerous game, but pray the no one gets hurt. Yep.

It wasn't a selfish prayer (so that's one thing in their favor). They didn't say, "so OUR players don't get hurt." The student who led the prayer spoke in general terms, indicating that she didn't want players or coaches from either side to get hurt.

But, in football, people get hurt. SO, someone's fervent prayer is going to go unanswered. That's like saying, "I hope no soldiers die in this war!" Or, "Boy, I sure hope the swimmers in the swim meet don't get water in their ears!"

And of course there's a holy hullabaloo in response to the School Superintendent's directive to stop school sponsored prayer. And THIS is what they're fighting for, the right to gather students and parents together to pray for something so mind-blowingly pointless. They are screaming about persecution and free speech. Then they violate direct orders to stop breaking the law. And for what purpose? To pray for peace in the middle east? A cure for cancer, aids? A top quality education for the kids at that school? NO! They pray that kids, who have chosen to play a dangerous game, whose parents had to sign consent forms so they could play this dangerous game in which people get hurt, wouldn't get hurt.

Ah, I'm done being respectful of belief.

Religion is dangerous

Geologist Kurt Wise, an Ph.D from Harvard once said that if all the evidence in the universe supported an old earth he'd admit it but would still be a young earth creationist because that is what holy scripture teaches.

Here's an imaginary conversation with such a person.

Rational Person (RP): Well that stance makes you dangerous because you believe in the bible which instructs you to do all kinds of heinous bullshit, selling children into slavery, killing neighbor for working on the sabbath, killing non-believers...

KW: No, you're mis interpreting all that [insert bullshit justification].

RP: That makes you even more dangerous. Just a few seconds ago I could have gone to your book, the bible, and looked up what you believe. Then, based on your literal interpretation, at least I could, oh, avoid you on the sabbath. I'd know where you stand on things. But now I can't because you believe some of it and reject others. I can't know which parts of the book you hold to be literal truth and which you don't. This makes you unpredictable and dangerous.

Religious thinking is dangerous.

Happy Darwin Day!

Darwin Day is this Friday.
Do something evolutionary!


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