Pickle Soup For Your Face

Kids learn language. It's natural. It flows. "Goo goo" flows easily into "baba" and then "want baba" and "I want white bear" and "why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why? why?" then "ooooooooooohhh, mommy's at work?"

It's freakin' amazing to see.

Made Up Mythology

I teach Intro to Theatre at a community college. A few semesters ago, when we began our unit on Ancient Greek drama, I was doing my five minute lay down of everything I know about Greek mythology.  I had to lay some groundwork for the cult of Dionysus, as that cult produced Thespis, the "first actor."

So I was talking about the birth of Dionysus, from the thigh of Zeus, having been sewn there after being ripped from Semele's belly just as she was being destroyed by the presence of Zues in his true form...when a student raised his hand and asked, "Did they make this up? Or did they really believe it?"

My answer: "Yes." My thought, "Just like the talking snake."

He asked, "They made it up, and then they believed it?"

I said again, "Yes...like all mythologies." (I'm careful to say "mythologies" and not "religions" because...I'm a coward.) After a bit of what seemed like uncomfortable laughter from the class and a short awkward pause, I went on to say that mythologies develop over time, they evolve, they are stories. Mythologies are explanations of the natural world, of the universe, created before we had the proper tools to explain the natural world. We used to think Thor was raining down thunder bolts from the sky. Now we understand thunder and lightning.

It was a fun skeptical moment in a theatre class, which often doesn't get into skeptical territory.

Dear Oprah, We're Here, We're Atheists

This rant is brought to you courtesy of Oprah's total lack of courtesy, and obliviousness to her our lack of courtesy, seen in this clip, wherein she tells an atheist that she's not an atheist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hla3ibhUuCU

Basically Diana Nyad explains that though she's an atheist she still experiences awe in nature and the universe, whereupon Oprah tells her that that (nature etc.) is god and therefor Mz. Nyad is not an atheist.

OK for Oprah, let's unpack that. Note. (Oprah is by no means the first to make this argument. This blog goes out to everybody who's ever said this kind of thing to me.)

First of all throwing the label "god" onto everything makes it a meaningless word. If "god" means whatever gives your life meaning, whatever you find beautiful, or whatever is important in your life, then fine. Everybody is religious. The problem with that is that words have meaning. And there is no definition of the word "god" that allows for such careless sticker slapping. Furthermore, as a religious person herself, Oprah is weakening whatever version of god she believes in by stripping the word of all meaning. 

In short, if nature is god, why not just call it nature? If music is god, why not just call it music? If (insert thing that inspires awe) is god, why not just call it (insert thing that inspires awe)?

Let me give a few examples. I go to a burger joint and get a burger. It's so so. A couple days later I go and get a burger and it's delicious. It's like, "Damn! That was an awesome, tasty moffugin burger!" I do not leap to god as the cause of my "awe" at the taste of this burger. I know that sometimes a burger, even prepared by the same chef, in the same restaurant, will sometimes taste better than others. He was paying attention and didn't overcook it. The spices were just right. The ingredients were fresher. Whatever. There is no need to invoke god.

Likewise, when I listen to music and want to fall down and cry, I don't think of god. I understand that long ago humans discovered that certain sounds make us feel certain things and that over time we have learned how to manipulate those sounds in order to enhance the effects they have on us. Again, no god required.

When, in awe, I see the sun come up and go down, the tide come in and go out, with nary a miss-communication, I understand that there is no communication. Natural forces are at work, totally independent of any thoughtful, guiding hand. No need for a god.

And as for the feelings themselves, the terror primitive man felt at the power of the weather, later replaced by respect and awe, the sweeping ennui or inspiration created by great music, the enjoyment of the taste and texture of food, all of these are explained in a completely naturalistic way. No god required.

Now, Oprah wasn't trying to be rude. She was unintentionally disrespectful, I'm sure. But she was sure as heck showing a total lack of empathy and the ability to see another point of view. She simply can't understand someone not believing in god, to the point that she has to hand hammer the label "god" onto things she herself doesn't call god, in order to make herself feel better.

Oprah, listen. "Atheist" is not a bad word. It simply means someone who doesn't believe in a god. It doesn't mean someone devoid of feelings, devoid of hope, devoid of awe. It just means someone who finds those things somewhere other than god because s/he doesn't believe there is a god.

We're atheists. Deal with it.

Christian Nation?

Prayer For Protection In A Dangerous Game

A student at Saudi-Daisy High School in Tennessee started an uproar when he contacted the Freedom From Religion foundation (www.ffrf.org) to inquire as to whether prayer at football games and commencements was illegal.

It is.

But that's not what I'm on about now. Endorsing prayer in public schools has been ruled unconstitutional by the supreme court. Done. The end.

No. What I want to discuss is the moronic nature of the prayers. The FFRF podcast of Freethought Radio (Nov 1, 2010) features an audio clip of a half-time, mid-field prayer led by a student. What were they praying for? Yes of course, they were thanking god for the day and the chance to glorify him, all the standard formalities that go into talking to god before one gets to the heart of the matter. But what was the heart of the matter? Safety. The safety of the players and coaches during the game. The game of FOOTBALL!

What!?

If I were god, I'd send that prayer back with a note attached. "Sorry, your prayer could not be delivered because you're a bunch of morons!"

Let's play an incredibly dangerous game, but pray the no one gets hurt. Yep.

It wasn't a selfish prayer (so that's one thing in their favor). They didn't say, "so OUR players don't get hurt." The student who led the prayer spoke in general terms, indicating that she didn't want players or coaches from either side to get hurt.

But, in football, people get hurt. SO, someone's fervent prayer is going to go unanswered. That's like saying, "I hope no soldiers die in this war!" Or, "Boy, I sure hope the swimmers in the swim meet don't get water in their ears!"

And of course there's a holy hullabaloo in response to the School Superintendent's directive to stop school sponsored prayer. And THIS is what they're fighting for, the right to gather students and parents together to pray for something so mind-blowingly pointless. They are screaming about persecution and free speech. Then they violate direct orders to stop breaking the law. And for what purpose? To pray for peace in the middle east? A cure for cancer, aids? A top quality education for the kids at that school? NO! They pray that kids, who have chosen to play a dangerous game, whose parents had to sign consent forms so they could play this dangerous game in which people get hurt, wouldn't get hurt.

Ah, I'm done being respectful of belief.

Religion is dangerous

Geologist Kurt Wise, an Ph.D from Harvard once said that if all the evidence in the universe supported an old earth he'd admit it but would still be a young earth creationist because that is what holy scripture teaches.

Here's an imaginary conversation with such a person.

Rational Person (RP): Well that stance makes you dangerous because you believe in the bible which instructs you to do all kinds of heinous bullshit, selling children into slavery, killing neighbor for working on the sabbath, killing non-believers...

KW: No, you're mis interpreting all that [insert bullshit justification].

RP: That makes you even more dangerous. Just a few seconds ago I could have gone to your book, the bible, and looked up what you believe. Then, based on your literal interpretation, at least I could, oh, avoid you on the sabbath. I'd know where you stand on things. But now I can't because you believe some of it and reject others. I can't know which parts of the book you hold to be literal truth and which you don't. This makes you unpredictable and dangerous.

Religious thinking is dangerous.

Happy Darwin Day!

Darwin Day is this Friday.
Do something evolutionary!


make custom gifts at Zazzle

Thank you. You're welcome.

True story:
I had this girlfriend a long time ago, back during my spiritual journey. She was fundy Christian. She and I were driving at night in the middle of winter.

Suddenly we skidded out. It was really no big deal. We were on a nice wide, four-lane road with no ditches – in fact with a curb – and it was deserted, but for us. We were only moving about 40 mph when we went over some railroad tracks. That little bump was enough on that slick stretch to send us into a very slow skid.

Immediately she started praying, “Help me Jesus! Oh dear God, Jesus please don’t let us die.” Etc.

I was at once annoyed and trying to keep control of the car. Seriously, I thought, “Well that’s not going to help.”

The car made a wide, slow sweep that took us to the other side of the road where, once it bumped the curb, it came to a stop. I mean, it was not the stuff of action movies. Remember the OJ chase, all those shots from the helicopter and you watched going, “Well this is the lamest chase I’ve ever seen?” Yeah, it was like that. Really, no big.

As soon as we stopped moving she, hands still clasped in prayer, whispered hoarsely, “Thank you!”

I turned to her and said, with as much annoyed sarcasm as I could muster, “You’re welcome!”

I think that may have been the beginning of the end of our relationship.

Whenever I have a meal prepared by someone I know I like to say, “Could we please stop and give thanks?” then turn to the cook and say, “Thank you.”

And here’s a joke I stole from Dan Barker:
I man is nearly late for a very important interview and is having trouble finding a parking space.

He starts praying, “Oh dear Jesus, help me! Please provide me a parking space right up close so I will make to my interview on time!”

At the last possible moment, a minute before his appointment someone pulls out of a spot right in front of the door. The man says, “Never mind, Jesus. I found one myself.”

I had snoo snoo! Happy new year!

The War On Solstice

Happy Holidays, Bill O'Reilly!

It's that time of year, the first snow fall, the thrill of black Friday, yuletide carols being sung by a choir and jackasses ranting about the "war on Xmas."

When I was a kid, and a Catholic, my family said, "Happy Holidays" all the time. It simply meant, "If I don't see you, happy Thanksgiving, Xmas and New Year." It referred to the holiday season.

But the O'Reillyites have to have something to bitch about. Those poor oppressed Xtians. They make it sound like "happy holidays" is a brand new slogan created a year ago by the liberals as part of the assault on Xmas. I've actually heard it said the liberals are trying to take away their right to say, "Merry Xmas."

And the store protests, almighty Atheismo, help me! The stores don't give two fucks about anyone’s religious holiday. Target management is not thinking, "Screw those Xtians. I'm not saying Xmas. I'm EVIL, ha ha ha ha!!" Nor are they thinking, "Ooh. Don't want to offend any Muslims by not including their holidays." Their thinking, "Happy holidays. It's warm and cheery in here. Come and spend your money." They're not being PC in order to spare people's feelings. If anything, they're taking advantage of the PC movement in order to be inclusive of everyone's money!

If the Xtians really want to protest an attack on their precious holiday, they should protest the stores who target Xmas specifically by saying, "Merry Xmas." Because when stores do that, they have one thing in mind. And it ain't the birth of X. It's, get your Xtian money in here. That's it. So the Xtians should be furious at the stores who DO say, "Merry Xmas," violating the sanctity of the holiday for commercial purposes. Shit the war on Xmas has been going on for centuries.

From now on when someone complains about the war on Xmas, I respond with, "Screw you. Xtians have been perpetrating a war on Solstice for two thousand years! Xmas is a stolen pagan holiday!"

Religious Freedom To Be Morons

I haven't blogged in a while and I know you're all sad about that. Sorry.

But sometimes all it takes to get me off my non-blogging butt is for several people to be assholes openly, in public.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate assholes. Everyone has the right to be an asshole. They should just keep it to themselves and not push their assholy agenda on the rest of us. Assholes want special rights and protections. And they want their assholyry taught in our schools. They want to teach our children that it's ok, that it's "natural" to be assholes. They want the right to marry each other.

Well it's a slippery slope people. Wake up. If we allow assholes to have their way, they'll force their asshole lifestyle right into our living rooms. Pretty soon our children will marry assholes and we'll all become assholes. And then what's to stop people from becoming total dickheads and douche bags, even mother fuckers?

So by now you may be saying, "D, you're not political. Why all this ass-un-holy fury? What inspired this anti-A-hole rant?"

Well, this:

http://bsalert.com/news/1990/Bill_Nye_Bood_In_Texas_For_Saying_The_Moon_Reflects_The_Sun.html

Evolve!

Celebrate Life!

My Conservapeida Contribution

CONSERVAPEDIA¹ is a website started by a bunch of paranoid Christians who want to turn America into a theocracy. The site is meant to look and behave like Wikipedia and is touted by its proponents as being a conservative answer to the left leaning Wiki. It is full of lies, slander and meaningless rants against anything liberal, libertarian or basically American, all not so cleverly crafted to appear as scholarly writing. Conservapedia does not allow users to contribute or edit articles, despite having a link labeled User Contributions.

Conservapedia has a variety of effects on individuals and society at large which will be subsequently elaborated on.²

These same paranoid Christians who created this site also want to rewrite their own holy book, which is just as well since most of them don't follow most of its dictates anyway. The want to make the bible more conservative because apparently the bible, which instructs us to kill those who work on the Sabbath, kill gays, kill those who worship other gods, sell our daughters into slavery (sexual and the other kind), cut off our foreskins, kill disobedient children, subjugate women and to commit many other heinous acts, is too liberal.³ They want to translate it with a conservative bias because modern translations have a liberal bias and translating the bible with a bias is wrong. Uh…yep, pretty much.

Conservapedia is conservative in every sense of the word. In its attempt to look legit it includes articles on math and science but in so doing it does two things, it 1] includes ridicule of the subject where it can, claiming its purpose is to undermine Christianity and 2] gives very little actual information on the subject. For example, the Conservapedia science page talks about how early scientists were creationist Christians while modern American scientists are “…more atheistic as a group.” Also the Wikipedia article on math is really long while the Conservapedia math page is short, which is good because math is boring.

______________

Notes

¹I wish I were making this up!

²This is one of Conservapedia’s favorite bits of fear mongering. They frequently include this claim in articles about things they oppose, homosexuality, atheism, etc. and then fail to elaborate on the effects they mention.

³I wish I were making this up!

______________

Sources:

Conservapedia

http://conservapedia.com/Conservapedia

The Conservative Bible Project

http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

Conservapedia: Science

http://conservapedia.com/Science

Wikipedia: Mathematics

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Math

Conservapedia: Mathematics

http://conservapedia.com/Math

Cameron and Comfort WOTM bullshit

They're at it again. Kirk Cameron and "other guy" Ray Comfort (the man so fond of the banana) are pushing their religious opposition to science, complete with all the typical crap creationist tend to include in their EVILution tirades.

This time the attack takes the form of a book give away on university campuses. Check it out.
http://tahoecommunitychurch.org/wordpress/?tag=darwins-origin-of-species-150th-anniversary

Yep, they're giving away Origin of Species. As far as I know the text is intact, unaltered. But they've included a 50 PAGE intro by Ray Comfort. It contains all the same crap creationists have pumped out and which has all been debunked and discredited time and time again. These guys know these arguments are fallacious, flawed, disproved, wrong and yet they keep recycling them. This is called lying.

Notice that the video promoting this project starts out with a collection of lies:
"Our kids can no longer pray in public. " Flat out lie.

"They can no longer freely open a bible in school." Lie.

"The ten commandments are no longer allowed to be displayed in public places." Lie. They are not allowed on government land. But in public, not so.

"And the Gideons are not even allowed to give away bibles in schools." Partial truth. In ONE school district in Missouri, the courts ruled the Gideons couldn't distribute to students, and this only applies to ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Lie of omission.

"...in the top 50 universities in our country, in the fields of psychology and biology, 61% of the professors describe themselves as atheists or agnostics." True. But what he leaves out of the statement is that when professors from all disciplines were polled the number dropped to about 23%.
http://religion.ssrc.org/reforum/Gross_Simmons.pdf

Hmm...I could have sworn I'd head Kirk and Ray preach about the sin of lying.

All Human Life Is Sacred?

There are many who are against universal health care on religious grounds. I don't understand this. There's nothing in the bible that says we shouldn't or can't collectively pay for health care. (Please feel free to correct me on this if there is a verse I'm overlooking.)

The hypocrisy of this is mind blowing. The Right to Life movement's mantra is ALL HUMAN LIFE IS SACRED! Apparently that phrase doesn't mean that the quality of all human life is sacred or that we have to be our "brother's keeper." Or perhaps they mean all human life that fits in a petri dish is sacred.

The religious want to have it both ways. (What? They're cherry picking? No! Really!?) At the beginning and end of life, life is sacred and must be vehemently defended. Abortion and euthanasia are murder and all good moral Christian men and women must join in the fight. But at any other point in life, when someone needs medical care, it's in god's hands and we have no responsibility for our fellows, either to make they're quality of life as high as we can or to keep them alive.

Bullshit.

God and other news

Mr. Deity Episode: Mr. Deity and the Planes. Free on iTunes.

And yes, they mean the 9/11 planes. Tasteless? How do you feel about God after watching?

And then, Michaiel Shermer guests stars on the latest episode, Mr. Deity and the Skeptic. Awesome.

sweet jesus!

Zombie Protest 2

T-Rex Shark Zombie